July 5, 2008

How to Beat a Wizard

The ugly guy was standing before her, beginning the words to some spell that she didn't know. The guy was actually a wizard. Or a witch. Or a mage. Or a war lord. Or a warlock, even. She didn't know the difference between them all, after all, she had just begun to learn the Craft. Which also meant that she shouldn't be here, standing before someone who was clearly more skilled at Craft than she was. But their enemies were winning. And they had a serious shortage of Craft workers due to them being killed in the war. Which was why she was here fighting. The Council had told her so. In a nice, if you don't we'll kill you for being unpatriotic, kind of way.

So, here she was. Facing this guy with a staff (which might mean that he was a wizard, or a mage). And she only had probably about 49 spells down solid, 21 spells that never seemed to do the same thing twice, and 1 that kept summoning bunnies (and it wasn't supposed to do that). So she did the first thing that came to her mind. She ran at the guy and swung her foot. Her foot collided nicely with his genitals. In fact, she kicked him so hard, that his feet momentarily left the ground. And then he collapsed in a sobbing pile before him. She grinned.

Prior to beginning her training in Craft work, she had joined the infantry forces. Prior to that, she had been a sex worker. And since she was on the lower end of the scale, she had to work in the bad part of the city. She had seen and heard of others working in the same area being attacked, or even killed. So, she had gotten herself some self defense training.

Author's note: This was inspired by the question: "Why does fantasy have such a bad rap in the non-geek's eyes?" I think it was Tee that posed the question, but I could be wrong. And then Kreg answered, "Dungeons and Dragons." So basically, Steve gets all the credit because it was on his podcast, Geek Cred.